My interests doesn't define me, or will them?
I started using Gentoo in 2013, I just made Google searches, no community, no Linux friends, I was a lonely.
In the 2015 I created a Twitter, this an snapshot I took back then: flax_amuchan. There I posted about technology as well as a normy stuff . Then I realized that the best was having a normal account and another about technology. Simply because Gentoo was a concept beyond the comprehension of the 99% of the people I followed. You may expect me to be a gamer or at least playing games, but I was not that kind of girl, I was more likely the creative kind of girl, just a bit nerd; creative, nerd, and a little princess, that was all above me. Creativity was the most important for me.
I didn't consider myself geek until recently, because Linux was just my OS. It is comprehensible that I used Gentoo since I only cared about the OS in a computer.
Everything I compiled in Gentoo was posted in my Twitter account, I was part of Gentwoo social compiling network. My handle was amu_chan and I managed to be in the top compiling users in the network. Gentwoo was a great deal, I think that the kernel developer Alice Ferrazi was handing out Gentoo brochures in a Japan FLOSS event featuring this social network.
Gentwoo was created by a Gentoo developer too! @naota344
I used to follow them in Twitter, and they used to follow me. Noata followed me back after many months maybe because I liked his posts or commented about Gentoo. There I tried to add many users from Gentwoo.
Back then in 2015 I was a huge fan of Yuki-chan anime and Pretty Rhythm. Pretty Rhythm, has maturated along with me and the characters looks older too as in the gif bellow. Pretty Rhythm is a shoujo sport anime than can easily be confounded with idol animes like Love Live. Years later, with King of Prism we had soft yaoi and more mature themes, as I said, Pretty Rhythm has grown with me. Sorry for fangirling.
4 years ago, I just was a standard teenager. I used to be pretty impulsive, pretty emotional and childish, loved to share impulsively everything I was thinking in Twitter, flooded my status with emoticons, and loved memes and posted a lot about anime.
Instead of talking about love, I used to stalk boys. All the day I was thinking in a particular boy and reading all his posts. My motto was: Yuno and Yukiteru, the best ship ever, now I think that Yuno is a bit creepy, but back then I only though that Yuno really loved Yukiteru. Fujoshi too.
I was like: The life is shiny, marvelous, I love my school, my parents and everything is happy lucky ^o^
By the other hand, when someone didn't agree with me I had rather a harsh and sour behavior as I believed that everybody loved me, I know, I was not perfect.
One boy created a blog about me, and wrote 40 reasons for loving me, I shouldn't be sharing this, but my feelings are telling me to do so: 40razones.pdf (Spanish) , I really loved the people that was able to appreciate my essence, the real me. It is beautiful in Spanish, sorry for not being able to translate it, my feelings are telling me to not translate it.
Now, this text describes my way of being back then, it's short but back then it was important for me: My way of being (2016) I paid someone from translating it from Spanish when I wrote it, I choose a translator that I feel that was able to understand me, someone who I can relate, a girl similar to me. I wanted a perfect translation and I have improved a lot my English skills since then.
Before my first love didn't care about love, I was like: "You don't need love for being happy, love is optional. What is the need to think of love as a necessity or a project specially if you are not in love? If I'm single at 40 years it's perfect. You can be happy right now if you truly believed in yourself". I didn't though that although, I just knew it, this what I call the wisdom of a child. And so, I rejected a lot of people.
Something interesting about me its that I loved the philosophy and studying a lot in the School too, that is the reason that I intended to post about science, literature, and arts in my blog. I was inspired by Kuina chan, a developer from Japan, there is her site (In Japanese). I found in my blog a entry about Plato and my experience reading the entire Bible!!
Reading a Gentoo post from 2015 I think that I was pretty smart: Instalando LXQT y QT5 en Gentoo, sometimes I wonder if I was aware of my intelligence, this post make to realize that I was a genius in my own.
Then suddenly I fell in love with a boy with a hard life. My first relationship was pretty good at first, but in the end I was left despite of my insistence to getting back. I was left because supposedly I was pretty toxic, cloying and I because I was like a little girl that only wanted candies and I didn't seemed tocare about him. He is the person with the most despicable attitude I even have met, he humiliated me and treated me like trash, but I really loved him. It's sad to remember this.
Many years after we broke up he said: "Your are a pretty lovely and valuable friend, but for a love relationship you are insufferable, I'm worried for your next boyfriend"
My ex used to believe that I was stupid, being pure is one thing, but he also believed that I was empty of mind. He is actually foxy like a fox, excuse the pun. "I'm certain that I'm intelligent and you will see that my ideas are not contained only into my head, I will transform my surrounding. You will see that my ideas are not only theories" I said. If your girlfriend uses Gentoo and you tell her that she is stupid, you will certain create a logic monster. That happened to me, I'm the monster.
My ex has inspired me in weird ways, my ex is my exact opposite, everything is inverted. Thanks to him I loved to see anime and art in a deeper way, and to be more open minded because I was too pure and virginal, and inspired my intellectual curiosity, and I miss him a lot because he make me to do my best, I want to be stronger and stronger, one day I want to be loved again but that won't happen and in the end he is only a simple inspiration for myself and it seems that he is only interested in sex, besides currently I have a boyfriend.
My ex reminds me of pain , injustice and aberrations, and I think that these are important things because I'm so insensible to pain and suffering, I need to be more awake about how the world is. Finally I have to be thankful to him because I found my own strength in love and understood my own way of loving. He is the reason I asked to God or the Universe for a virgin and pure boy.
There was another boy who I really inspired me to be geeky, he is an skilled programmer who visited Europe, I mean, I was only interested in Linux, but I became more knowledgeable in more areas. He inspired me to be calm, wiser and persistent. He was my prince and has all the features I love in a man, of course, he is still inspiring my love relationships. Thanks to him I become into Princess Gentoo. Y suffered a lot with my broken heart.
I think that slowly my character became into a logical one for two years, it almost reminds me of Victorique from Gosick. Besides I was in the hardest high school in my State, and then I went to one of the most expensive Universities here. At least this is the way I see myself today, specially in love, after all Gosick is a romance anime. Well, I think that I always was like this, specially in hard parts of my life and specially this is my way of communication, and maybe many people can think that this is my way of being, pretty logical, but actually I'm pretty creative and sentimental.
For falling in love its important that my partner fall in love with my creative part, not the logical. There should be a warning: Please don't try to show your love to me using technology and intelligence, and please don't try to install Gentoo while doing so.
I often believed that my personality changed based in my brain activity, character dependent of the intelligence, I used to call it like this, even thought I was impulsive and a cry baby, when I worked with Gentoo was another matter, when my ex had problems with Ubuntu I told the perfect commands for solving his issue.
I often say that the way I used to be is the real me, I wanted to change the world, defeat evil organizations like Microsoft, Apple, the NSA, Twitter and Wordpress.com; make everybody happier; wake up an 100 years sleeping prince and disembowel a wolf in my grandma's house with an ax , but I had to grown up, still as a PrincessGentoo I was the most fervent believer in love and I still believe in it. You may not change the world, but you still can believe in yourself and find love, that is the metaphoric meaning of being Princess Gentoo, I mean, to continue believing in your dreams.
Websites and privacy
Now, this is the story of how I became wiser. As the past chapters here, here is also another boy story.
I was getting boring of Linux, I just wanna write about Life and psychology and be focused in my environmental major, but he had the idea of get involved with my Linux interest because of me.
He had the idea to try 30 distros for me that he eventually tried. I was super mad, are you idiot? Do you know that I hate the distro hoppers?
And then he had the idea of creating a website for me. I discovered it and wanted to help, since it was a romantic gift I was refused. As I was refused, I had the idea of creating a website myself. I wanted to be noticed. And here you have, my oldest website is this current one, Zcat, the cover resembles the original appearance.
The problem was when he tried Gentoo, I love to be asked about Linux, are you an idiot? Do you installed Gentoo with Unetbootin and you think that you installed it? Idiot, Idiot, Idiot. You don't understand Gentoo.
Impressively It seems that he managed to install Gentoo after many months through brute force and blind-folly pasting commands, and I asked him many questions.Tell me the current python versions, tell me what is the mask file, tell me where are ebuilds saved, what is the world file, I want to check how you compiled ffmpeg, tell me how to see the uses of a package, how to downgrade a package with a version greater, the syntax of a package, install KDE!!! what does emerge do with...?
I was pretty upset, and when I less expected he sent me money because he wanted to be able to buy a beautiful gift. Nevertheless, I was more interested in my project to change the world and used it for Internet, I didn't now about websites but I still bought 1 year worth of web-hosting, and also bought domains. Then I became obsessed with web pages.
He inspired me to be more responsible, organized, cautious, and practical.
Let me tell you an anecdote, when I broke with my ex, I started to fall in love but a new boy, after 10 days I was in love again. When I was 12 years old my favorite pet died, however the next day I bought a new bird, easy. And I was like, you don't need the past, because you always need space for the future, and now I really care about the past, for example today I recovered the domain this guy used to love, my original domain, I really loved it too, I used to believe that everything was replaceable, even the people. I don't now how this guy changed me a lot too.
My interest in webpages increased a lot when I realized that it was pretty easy to have your own blog with Wordpress.org, the only thing I don't agree with Wordpress.com is that it cost a lot to host in your own domain and subdomains names, since then I considered wordpress.com to be a bad actor, the problem is when you want to host lots of subdomains, it its easy to get a web hosting and having so many subdomains as you need. Well, wordpress.com was my first experience to the blogging world.
In this way started my interest in self hosting, in this case, self hosting a blog, but then I had a new interest: Privacy.
One day everything changed when I watched the Snowden movie and realized that the conspiracies theories were true. I become passionate about reading Wikileaks articles, browsing the Tor Browser source code, reading VPNs reviews, Snowden interviews, and Gentoo self hosting.
I regretted to know a lot about privacy and the NSA at certain point, I mean, if the Evernote incident never had happened, an important privacy change in the TOS, instead of learning about proxies, vpns, Tails, Qubes OS, iptables, Tor, I would have learned programming and today I would be a PHP, Python and C programmer.
Why learned a lot about something that made unhappy? Easy, due to my ethical values, to defend the right of expression, you also have to care about the privacy rights
Even though I lost my happiness, I became pretty analytical because security and privacy requires to be pretty analytical and I learned how to be more organized. Wasn't Gentoo enough? The problem with Gentoo is that once you are used to it its gets easy. The return of Gentoo in my computer has to wait for me installing Linux From Scratch, that is my next project.
My deleted princessgentoo account:
There is not backup for the deleted "original" princessgentoo account, only screenshot for people that wanted to mock of me, but I believe that all this is now in the past and you can see it in a positive way, I choosed my twits that I liked the most. I followed Ivesen, r00tobo and helena there, both are now in the fediverse.
Sometimes I was silly when I talked about privacy.